Dedication not to be mistaken with Resoloution.

I know something horrible is headed this way, its called the New Year! why is this so horrible? The whole New Year New You Resolution thing why do we feel like we need to reinvent ourselves at the start of the new year?

I read the latest post from a lady in my CL group, and It went almost hand in hand with some of the things I had been thinking, and she triggered my thoughts of the horrors of another year of resolutions to wonderment.
Her statement in CL " I've allowed myself too many rest days this month. 5 days left in this month and I need to kick it into HIGH gear! I'm hoping for at least a maintain this month... " Doesn't this sound fulfilled and hopeful? Hope is inside and out of Dedication it's not the same as an empty half attempted resolution
This sounds like it is something closer Something attainable something that can become growth something called dedication.
So I was thinking of a way to avoid the whole resolution thing by getting rid of it and maintain something else and make it more personal and worthwhile for me and for the ladies in the CL group.

I think that instead of Resolution we should make it a Revolution Viva La (enter your name)!

We can make a dedication to ourselves to do better Body mind and soul, we can make lifestyle changes, not just weight loss schemes, we seem to get fixated on weightloss if we calm the Body mind and souls the weight will get become lost or at least be easier to maintain, if it's dedicated it has more accountability to it, this is the moment I see in my eyes, what one calls the aha moment.
See My Lady friend did not bash herself in her statement and she owned it by saying she allowed her self too many days pf slack, to me that is a sign of self growth.

I am not sure but what I am hoping for is to pull myself and the ladies from my CL group out of the dull-drums of making a resolution and being bummed out in two weeks when we let go of it. We all do that and the biggest one is usually get in a gym...2-3 weeks later we are seen getting ourselves into a round of self abuse and neglects we will be beating ourselves up for not being perfect.

Yes there is a magical secret for happiness it's to finally love yourself. I can't tell you anything more because you have to learn to do that. You need to discover your inner soul happiness. We all do how can we reach this not through Resolutions but through dedication.

Resolution are not going to get us anywhere. See if we make a dedication and we let it slip we can rededicate to we never hear of re resolutions. Resolve is like willpower it is fleeting dedication comes from deeper down inside the mind soul and body, as where resolves are just cute little candy and sugar coated soon to be what if's when they grow up.

Dedications are more honorable, and easily to return to if you take a step off the path, because with dedication you are putting more effort to find the right path to lead you to your main goals. The path that looks like the way to your goal looks good now how much sweeter, will it look as a dedication to yourself?

If we find out hat our path needs some tweaking or another path needs to be taken to attain our goals it makes it so much easier to, re dedicate to the main goal with a new plan.

Why do I disapprove so much of resolutions? It's really easy to fail myself when I feel like I have this only new time this new year to make a new me.

Plain and simple we do not need to wait to make a New you for ourselves at the New Year's. We can start now and that takes dedication.

To me that is what I needed it's far more important to my wants

in life because it will get me to my goals faster.

The World Vs. the Lady, Resurrecting Venus.

 It's all in the world around us the media the clothes, the magazines are the worse sometimes I can't grasp how us women see a lady in the media and become so starstruck that we try to evolve or in some cases devolve ourselves to be a clone of this lady. Why? Just so we can find love and acceptance? Can being someone other than we are make us happy, I don't mean coming to the realization and changing inside to become something better. I am talking watching young women and teens taking the time to impersonate fake lifestyles, and confidence of another person they can never possibly live up to being,
 I think people view the word Classy as Ladylike. Then you see or hear about the Morals or lack of Morals of these so called Ladies in the public light. When they are just humans looking for their own hopes, and dreams. cue the judgement immediately when they make a mistake show them no real praise when they do something great. Now replace the word "they" "us", or "me".
 I do not understand this world at times, or other women for that matter the judgmental ways that you see based on amount of skin or lack of skin shown. We judge based on what our men look at and how we compare so we see petite and pretty and we end up haters, we see big girls and we think gross why did they let it all go? We even tear apart our own souls with comparing us to everyday people not just media images. We would willing roast ourselves to ashes, to prove that we are unworthy of having our own dreams or our own happiness. Sounds familiar? Well hello insert name here____  are you guilty of this? I know I am, it does not make me happy. It makes me in fact feel like less of a person.
 I can understand emotions fairly easy and evenly. I just apply other's situations to me how would I feel is it a justified feeling for me to feel? How would I feel if it happen repeatedly, daily,weekly? How can it better me? Then I go about to spew advice, yes I take most of my advice.
I wrote earlier that my main goal is to be more Ladylike that is my Challenge letter in life. I also stated  in other blogs, I don't know where to start but actually I have a starting point now.
 what is this great starting point? I found a lifesaver of a web site based on what I have been trying to learn do with my life in my challenge letter then I found that this wonderful lady Cynthia Ocelli  the author of this blog and she released a book recently titled Resurrecting Venus.

This book touched base on so much I was struggling with, things I could not figure out within my own self. I feel self growth in me that has awaken that has never taken place inside of me. I been to  alot of self esteem and self help sites. Nothing has so passionately stirred my soul as this Book.
 I am tired of being world like I want to be more like me and I need it more than I want it. I have only read a few chapters into this book but the tears and realization are such big eye openers.
 I need improvement in my life and now I have insight on how to become what I want and dream.
I feel empowered.
I feel love.
I feel like there is more to me than I know and I am ready to find out all the goodies that I have been hiding from  myself with in my self.
I feel like a magical pinata.
This is how i have been affected so far. I have so many things to share but no words to describe them.

The challenge of being this lady...

I say challenge because as a young girl I always seem to strive to be something I am not. Ladylike is something I am not 100 percent at but here, in the next year of my life before hitting 40 I want to be consider by at least someone a lady.
So I been thinking ways to improve myself for me instead of other's I set back with some challenges form a group of ladies I belong too. (yes I finally seem to belong.) So one of the challenges at somewhere was to write self letters to ourselves. This triggered in me more of what I wanted to become and less of what I wanted to become that I was struggling with inside.
This is one of my letters. (edited names out)

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Dear Ladies I been struggling with who is the (my real name)? Who am I suppose to be what am I suppose to be doing? where is my weakness coming from? And what are my strengths that I can use to overcome them. This has been on my minds years and years.
I can't even begin to tell you how bad or lack of bad my life has been. Accordingly as I am aware some people have it really worse and some have it so much better, it's Life and it's what I make of it. My trauma and turmoil would either be aloud to destroy or build me it's all about I decided to lay it on the line. So thanks to Dawn I have decided that a big step is to become more feminine woah now that is a shocker. I don't mean girly girly indecisive damsel in distress type of feminine. I mean the type where I know and can accept that I am a woman that has limitations in some places and unlimitedtations (a word?) in others. 
I don't feel like a womanyeah that sounds strange.See I always have been raised around boys and I joke and have a foul manly type voice (f-bomb is one of my fav words when I am angry ugh how unlady like? ) I have always been around men friends and avoid girls in fear to be sucked into the girly girl airhead invasion that I grew up around. So I was a do it all type form the get go. (not a man hater) just seems like i was doing all the man stuff and the woman stuff. 
We were two girls no boys that is it. So we had to clean house and mow lawns and do boy chores and I think I got a head set that I had to play both roles when it came to taking care of me. when I has my son with no man around I was mom and dad.
Now that I am closing in on 40 I have learned through that i don't want to feel like I have to do it all.
I want and feel like I need to become a ladylike and less manlylike. I have a feminine body and face I don't look butch that is not what I mean when I say manlylike. 
I just want to be able to be okay to have feelings like a woman should instead of repressing my fears and tears to be a tough guy. I have been playing with the idea a long time. I had no idea how to do it or if i really wanted such a vast lifestyle change so that is where I am at in my life. Finding my feminine side I believe is the key to finding my inner beauty I feel like if I figure out and implement this in my life It is going to blaze an inner fire inside me that will spiral into the right direction and this will lead me to what I have always wanted in life that I can't even name, it's that huge I can't even describe the greatness of it. It is just the greatness of Lisa I guess?
I love you ladies you are like sisters to me. I feel connected more to you than real family.
sorry this is so long a letter to you Ladies.
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 What I think it boils down to is wanting to become my best me. I can't do that doing things like I am both roles, it is way to time consuming and tiring. What I want in life is to learn how to respect and love myself as much as possible and then some. I have shared this view with very little amount of people in a way by posting it and shoving it out there for anyone to see is like stripping away the girl and inventing the women.

Birthdays and Death days these are the days of life.

Well I know a bit of a strange title, but then again I am a bit of a strange lady. I share a birthday with the death day of my father. 10 years ago he passed away very close to the same time I was born. Oddly enough he was born on the 27th which is the death day of my uncle, as well as the same with his own Father. I feel bad for my son there seems to be a pattern here.
 Most of the people on my Father's side of the family have not made it into their 60's. I have a ways to go to get there. Daddy died at 55 he said a few days after his birthday. He had hit the speed limit of his life. Dad had a great sense of humor a little morbid at times, but honestly being terminal with Cancer he made the best rest of his life that he could with us. Well mainly me, I am a Daddy's girl.
I ended up being one of his main care givers before he got to the point we had to release him to hospice care.
You know it's at first it was weird to look at daddy in the eyes of terminal. He was happy and his usual self for so long, then it just happened it was like the word it's self hit everyone for the first time as what it really meant Terminal was not fixable, nor could it be.
 One turn went to another then to finally the Point that it was no longer a point that we could give the proper care.
So here nearly 10 yrs later I have a SRNA license looking for work, My father had to play a role in this.
 My birthday was yesterday, Our birthday in fact. My husband and I share the same Date as well as height, eye color and gift to debate with each other and still be able to turn the other cheek when we disagree.
I have had this blog a little while and was wondering how to even start it back up so here I am.